Archive for July, 2010

Gifted

July 26, 2010

Gifted brings a lot of things to mind lately. From coming into my own again and recognizing what I am good at. Being able to receive, without feeling guilt or shame that I don’t deserve  what’s being offered to me. Having the energy and want to gift others for no reason other than because I can. It’s been quite a month.

Out of almost nowhere my dad emails me that they would like to contribute to our travel fund. So we can go here and here and TBD.

A chance to take what turned out to be a very underwhelming circus class and have dinner with an amazing group of newer lady friends afterwards. The class was hysterically awkward to me but the dinner was full of tasty food,  very random topics, delish wine.

Finding my favorite massage therapist in the world’s number again and her doing her magic to my tangled legs and glutes.

Taking the time to read this book and this one that my sister gifted to me.

Being surprised with a dream off my list by my business partner at our 7 year anniversary of Zifty.

Celebrating this new deal which will change how we do business.

Seeing every single one of my employees sign up for a dream session. And being asked to be on their advisory board.

Having newly friended neighbors we can borrow eggs from and saying thank you from a play idea on dream lab.

Seven talking in sentences and cracking  jokes while mashing bananas for  bread we made on Sunday.

The fact that I let myself rest this weekend and went to see this by myself.

Hot summer trips to the park with the whole fam because they make a certain someone so happy.

Looking forward to mine and Tyler’s first weekend away since we had Seven; with no expectations other than soaking up every minute of the now.

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The Long Run

July 11, 2010

It is hot here this weekend and I was due for a 12 mile training run. I knew neither day would I get out of the house early enough to beat the 100 degree weather. So I decided to do 5 miles of hills yesterday and a hard 7 miles today. I was finally listening to the experts who said splitting up the run is not a bad thing in ridiculous weather.

As I was gearing up for my long run today out came my F*CK Cancer shirt. I hadn’t run in it in a long time and decided today was a hard enough effort to put it on. As I got running the history of the shirt came flooding back to me and carried me through the heat and hills.  I was reminded of when the company that makes the shirts asked to me to blog for them, why I wear it and this is what I wrote:

I wear the shirt, because it captures the first thought that came to
my mind when I found out about Lisa. I mean, once the original shock
wore off, of what I was hearing….so it was possibly my second
thought. Lisa, who threw my bridal shower as one of my bridesmaids;
and two weeks before had celebrated not only her 34th birthday but
her engagement and pregnancy too. At her birthday dinner party we sat
around the table celebrating all of her joy and confidence in the
future and seemingly endless possibilities. Three weeks later, I get
the call and Lisa has been diagnosed with leukemia.

I wanted to help. I wanted to fight for her. My friend and I started
Team Lisa to raise $10,000, a small portion of the $600,000 she would
need for her bone marrow transplant. (And that is with her insurance
covering 80%.) We started raising money by training for a Half
Ironman. 400 hours of training at $25 an hour equals our goal of
$10,000. Our shirts drew attention. Our shirts raised money. Our
shirts made other cancer survivors or those who knew friends and
family battling cancer smile and nod. On race day, as soon as we
stripped off  our wet suits, on came our shirts over the tri-gear
for the bike and the run. People clapped and pointed at our shirts,
people stopped us and asked us where we got the shirt, people asked
how they too could help.

I wear the shirt now, with its ripped off sleeves, on days when I
don’t feel like running but go anyway. It reminds me that I can run
and Lisa cannot. I wear it days, when I want to send her extra
energy vibes, when she is too weak to talk or even listen to
encouragement. I wear it too, because it always get a second look. I
love the half a second of an extra glance from a stranger, that tells
me without saying, “my thoughts exactly”.

Crossing the finish line at Miami 1/2 Ironman

A year after I wore that shirt in that race my friend Lisa died and I was seven months pregnant. The next time I wore the shirt in a race, was the November after Seven was born and I did my first 1/2 marathon. I wasn’t fully recovered from having him or fully trained; but I put it on that morning and Lisa was with me the entire way. I literally had goose bumps the whole run and my under trained legs just kept going on and going. She was pushing me from where she was and the thought of seeing Seven at the finish line, it was all just so powerful.

After the Thanksgiving half.

Lisa gave me another gift today, being with me as a ran and thought about our journeys. I will wear it on my long training runs this summer and definitely during the marathon this October. I love the companionship it brings and the reminder of just how lucky I am. Thank you Lisa. Miss you.

Hello There

July 5, 2010

So with all things new I tend to jump right in not exactly sure where or how it is going to fit into my life. Not willing to give up something to make room for new things, I tend to just add and add and add. And since I am high energy, tend to be a bit spastic with my attention span and relish on more than one thing going on at once it usually works. Usually.

I finished up Mondo, finished up needing to go to my talk therapist every other week (we both agree on this), finished up realizing that I wasn’t enjoying the now just the when. (which meant I wasn’t really enjoying) And you know what? It was quiet. I had no sudden urges to bite off projects, or cook up something new, or get out-of-town or really anything other than what the day presented. And that my friends is a whole new thing for me. That is not how I operate. At all. It was okay at first and then it got a little long and I was getting antsy.  But thankfully I still had this voice telling me something was on its way and to be patient. And for the first time in my life, I was. I am.

What was on its way were all the things that had probably been there all along but I was too busy planning the next thing to notice.  There are almost always things cooking, happening, excitement brewing.  I just needed to let it be okay for it to be a whispered message on some days and a shout out on others. To realize that things really do present themselves in the quiet of it all and for me to not to be so afraid of the silence in the first place. Have I mastered this? Hell no. But I’ll take step one, which is awareness.

In this “down” time, treats have presented themselves to me. A new advisory board I’m on will help companies make their employees dreams come true (by enabling and sharing) and we are adopting the practice into Zifty. Soon all my employees will have access to my 102 dreams. The big, the small, the super personal. The transparency scares me a bit but it doesn’t come close to over-powering how giddy the potential of it all is making me feel.

Also, looks like we are going to England in August! The trip started falling off of our radar from commitments, time and budget. Well we talked about it and put a few things out there into the universe and it is coming together quite beautifully. My training is on track for my first post kid marathon and even better so is my sister’s. (this will be her first!) I inked a major deal I can’t talk about yet. Seven is love, love, loving his new school. I have 3 gifted books by my bedside that want to be read. And I am typing here. My Mondo girls (Kat, Amiee, Stephanie) have been sharing faithfully on their blogs and I just couldn’t resist playing with them any longer. So here I am.  Thankful, rested and eager.